Attitude

Attitude. Urrgh!

It is such a small and inadequate word to describe the most rage making and sometimes baffling behaviour. Indeed, I am sure that when I say to my daughter, "..and less of your attitude!", she has no idea what it is I am referring to. Of course, she is only five, but even so. I had expected to encounter this kind of behaviour, but was confident that I had another ten years or so to prepare myself. I mean, where does it come from? I do understand that for a youngster there is an awful lot to assimilate and contend with on a day to day basis, there are a multitude of frustrations and obstacles that must be overcome and dealth with, parents amongst them. At my absolute parenting best I can overlook a minor display of attitude after considering all the aforementioned. Life, even for a five year old, can be difficult and confusing.

However, how can a totally innocent and calmly spoken comment or request trigger the avalanche of attitude I am occasionally, (but altogther too frequently) met with? For example, I say " How are you doing darling? Oh well done, dont forget to put your tights on." Does she say, "Ok mummy." and smile? No. She says, "Ohhh! I'm doing it! "
Not too bad you might think, but the "Ohhh!" comes out as a loud exorcist type growl in a rising crescendo, culminating in "I'm doing it!" at ear splitting volume and accompanied by much thrashing and throwing of objects. Okaay.

Well, in the face of such an unexpected outburst I was, believe it or not, speechless. No longer was I basking in the warm glow of the words, "Mummy, you are amazing." which had been lovingly spoken just a few minutes before. No, I have been toppled from my parenting pedestal and am now, inexplicably, the enemy. I am at once fuming and flabergasted. After a moments silent consideration, my instinct is to pick up the thrown objects and loudly throw them back, expressing my confusion and hurt at such an angry and unnecessary display. However, not being five, but considerably older and supposedly wiser, I instead opt for a slightly injured, not quite shouted response and swiftly depart before I revert to childish remonstrations.

How can such fury and contempt issue forth from the most angelic little mouth? Somehow, this 'thing' is capable of transforming a pleasant, calm, well behaved offspring into something which is almost unrecognisable. Again, on a good day, I am able to watch the manifestation of 'attitude' from a detached and scientific standpoint, noting the subtle difference between a tantrum, which, mericfully are now a rare occurence, and true attitude with its heady mix of rage, contempt and frustration. No other behaviour has me feeling as angry, hurt and confused. The one consolation I can see is that by the time I do experience the dreaded teenage version of this most challenging phenomenon, I will have had plenty of practice in dealing with it. So there.